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[Wednesday]
[ mood | weird ]

I love this Tom Frampton song.

We met the night before
At a party at the Fort
There was cheap beer, and a bonfire, and punk rock, and lots of kids
And Twister on the dancefloor

It was fate when our eyes first met
I broke out in a sweat
And when she kissed me on the rooftop I nearly died
And I could’ve right then without regret

So we went exploring the abandoned factories
I got nervous and wanted to leave
She called me gutless
And laughed while I complained
I turned for a minute
And she’d run away
Suddenly there were flashlights and shouts from the guards
Well the cops stole my shoelaces, but you stole my heart

Two years passed till we met again
10 feet from the security fence
Bullets were flying and I could hardly see
The teargas clouds were so dense

But she spotted me through my mask
Right before the concussion blasts
And we ran through the streets till there was nowhere to go
And the riot cops were moving in fast

They took our puppets first
and then they took our food
I turned for a minute
And they’d snatched you
The tasers were brutal and the water cannons cold as hell
But the memory of her kept me warm in my cell
Her grappling hook ripped a piece of the fence
And her smile tore me apart
Well the cops stole my shoelaces, but you stole my heart

CMNT l MEMORIES l EDIT

[Friday]
Hey everyone.

I posted this on my myspace, so I'll put it in here, too.

All of those "True" ads floating around on myspace are pretty creepy, and it made me want to post this. It's an exerpt (sp) from Days of War, Nights of Love.



::picture of a model::

Nobody looks like this. It's not even healthy. But millions of women worldwide paint themselves, starve themselves, even have medical operations to live up to social standards of beauty. Who sets these standards? We do-we, the fashion and image industries, with our magazine covers, "miracle" diets, and synthetically engineered celebrities.

Why is this in our best intrest? First, insecurity sells. The more unreachable the standards we set for you, the worse you'll feel about yourselves, and the more of our products you'll think you need. Second, it's important that we keep you thinking of yourself as a body, first and foremost. All our images of women as bodies, from classical art to twentieth centure perfume advertisements, conspire to make you think this way. If you conceive of yourself as a body, and you measure your own value as such, then you'll believe it is our body accessories you need most of all to be happy...not an exciting life, creative projects, a safe and beautiful world, etc.

For the sake of these absurd "beauty" standards, we're willing to kill dozens of women with anorexia each year, to make thousands and thousands more sick with bulimia and malnutrition, to make women pay thousands of dollars for plastic surgery and dangerous breast implants, to make non-white women pay money for products that will supposedly make them look more like the white beauty queens, to make millions of women and girls across the world miserably insecure about their bodies and themselves. And mens desires are shaped by our conditioning, too, so that they end up pursuing a glamorous of "woman" that doesn't exist in reality, while missing the real beauty right next to them on the streets and in their homes.

Why do we have all this power? Because in this competitive "free market" pir mercilessness in the name of profits has been rewarded by higher sales than our more humane competitors. Our way works in the capitalist economy, our way sells more, it dominates and conquers in a system where money has more value than human happiness.





I think people should learn to love themselves for who they are, and how they look, and not let the media brainwash them into thinking they have to look a certain way to be beautiful. We need to stop buying into the lies that magazine covers and television sell us, and appreciate ourselves for what we are.
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[Monday]
[ mood | frustrated ]

I havn't updated this in forever. Not much has been going on, though.

I feel like I havn't been doing anything valuable with my time lately. Usually I come home from school, eat, sleep, and do my homework, call Lauren, and then go to bed. I should probably be doing more important things, but I dunno what.

My job is really starting to suck, but you already know that. I've been saying I need to find a new job for...I don't know how to long, but it has to happen soon. I can't take it anymore.

I also feel like I havn't been spending enough time with some of my closest friends. If you're reading this, and we're good friends, leave me a comment, and we'll hang out. Sorry guys.

I have less than half a semester left in highschool, and I'm having varied feelings about it. I'm happy to be graduating, because I hate highschool. But, I'm also going to miss seeing Lauren, and all of my friends every day, and to be honest, I'm pretty scared of college, and the future in general. I worry about failing out of college, or not being able to handle the work. I mean, I don't even know if I'm getting into Perimeter yet.


I'm gonna put a hole in my TV set
I don't wanna grow up
Open up the medicine chest
I don't wanna grow up
I don't wanna have to shout it out
I don't want my hair to fall out
I don't wanna be filled with doubt
I don't wanna be a good boy scout
I don't wanna have to learn to count
I don't want the biggest ammount
I don't wanna grow up
--Ramones

Ha, sometimes I feel exactly like the lyrics in those songs.

Wow, I just noticed how depressing this entry is. Well, even though I sound upset, I'm really not. Things are actually going pretty good lately. I guess I just have too much free time, and I spend too much of that worrying. I should stop that.

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[Tuesday]
[ mood | excited ]

Hey everyone, whats up?

I hope that you all had a great Christmas/winter break. I know I did. Going back to school was prrtty rough, but aside from that, everything else was good.


This really isn't much of an update, as things havn't been to exciting lately.

But, I did go to Cirque du Solei on Friday, which was absolutely amazing. If you ever have the chance to go to one, you should.

And, this Thursday, I'm going to the High with school, and Lauren! I can not wait.

Also, I'm in a band now. It's your typical oi/street punk type of thing, but it's so much fun. The guys are really nice, and I think that it's going to go really well.

I guess that's all for now. Bye everyone.

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[Saturday]
Hey everyone. How are the holidays for everyone right now?


Mine's ok. I'm in West Virginia now, at my grandparents house. It's pretty boring up here, but it is pretty. That's a plus. I wish that Gwinnett/Atlanta wasn't as urbanized as it is. Oh well.

I am looking foward to Christmas morning. I got some pretty awesome stuff ordered from crustpunks.com.

I hope everyone likes the gifts I got for them. I got my dad Superman Returns on DVD, my mom a sweater, and my sister a $20.00 gift card to Old Navy. I got Lauren Disentigration, by The Cure, a Faint zip up jacket, a scarf, and a Defiance, Ohio shirt.

I love Christmas time! But, I guess most people do. I had a gingerbread latte at Borders today, and it was so awesome! I'm really hoping that it snows while I'm up here. That would be so awesome.

Well, something sad happened recently. On Tuesday night, my dog Max died. We had to keep him tied to a tree in the backyard because if we didn't, he would have jumped over the fence. Anyway, my dad moved him to a more open area of the yard, and got him a new leash for him to stay on. He measured it one way, but not the other. Anyway, he tried to jump the fence, and the leash basically hung him, and broke his neck. I was really bummed about it for a while, and still am. I wish it hadn't happened so close to Christmas. :sigh:

Well that's all for now. Have a merry Christmas everyone! Expect an update with pictures after this. Oooooh.
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[Friday]
[ mood | excited ]

Hey everyone. Sorry I've kind of been neglectful of updating lately.

Tonight was the opening night of our schools play, Happy Daze. It went so well! Everyone did so great. There's a show tomorow night, so if you want to come, here's the information:

WHERE: Central Gwinnett Highschool
WHEN: 7:30 pm--play starts 7:00--doors open
HOW MUCH: $5.00

I hope to see all of you there!

Well onto other things. On the way to the play tonight, my mom gets pulled over. The cop says that her tag is expired or something, and then asks to see her liscense. She checks it, and it turns out that that's been suspended. My mom had no idea what was going on. The cop was all like "I could take you to jail tonight, but I'm going to cut you a break and just give you a ticket this time, but you can't drive anymore until you get a new liscense and tag." It was so confusing. My mom started crying. Ughhh, whatever.

Schools been...school lately. I have all As and Bs (I think...). I have an 84 in Economics, but I'm pretty sure that's going to drop some when the grades for the written final go in, which I took today and just kind of wrote down whatever sounded right. School is crazy. Lauren is the only good thing about it. I'm just so ready for winter break to be here. That's going to be so relaxing.

I'm still in a pretty bad mood about what happened with CCC getting shut down. That makes me lose a lot of respect for the Atlanta scene in general. Not only can we no longer use it as a place to hold shows, but the people at the church will now view all the kids who go to hardcore shows as nothing but jerks. Ugh...the hardcore scene should be about sharing what you have, respect, and positivity, and all of this is the exact opposite of that.

I've been getting really into crust and horrorpunk lately. It's a pretty awesome genere. Like, I've liked Nausea and Disrupt for a while, but lately I've been looking into more bands and I'm defenantly liking what I hear. If any of you would like to recommend some of your favorite crust or horror bands, that would be pretty awesome!

I guess that's about all I have to say for now. Peace out guys!

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[Sunday]
Yesterday was such a great day, all around.

In the morning, I woke up and went to help out with Soup and Socks at Johns house with Chey and Meghan. We had so many clothes this time! It was insane. We probably didn't feed as many people as last time, and were only there for about an hour. It was still really awesome, though. I love helping out with that so much. You should all come out one weekend! You get such a great feeling afterwards.

Then I came home and worked on my stupid economics project some. Grr. It's done now, so I guess that's all matters.

Oh man, the Leftover Crack show at night was so awesome. They opened up with the intro to "Clear Channel" and played One Dead Cop and Gang Control one right after the other. One of the opening bands did an awesome "Hybrid Moments" cover too. It was so rad.
Afterwards, there was some dance party going on and me and Hassan chilled in there for a little while. I ate some really awesome fries while I was there. Some drunk skinhead came up to me and was like "You look like your name should be Gerald" That was pretty funny.
I was pretty bummed because I got Lauren a Sainte Catherines shirt, but I guess someone like, stole it because when I went back to pick it up, it was gone. :(
Aside from that, it was so awesome!


Well I have ISS tomorow for the dumbest reason ever. Ughhh. I'm so mad. And the worst part is Lauren didn't even get it the same day as me. Oh well, I guess it won't be too bad.

I'm so happy Thanksgiving break is coming up, and that me and Lauren will be abel to spend some time together. That will be so great.


Well that's all for now. Peace out.
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[Sunday]
[ mood | giddy ]





This is why I smile all the time now, in case you're wondering.

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[Saturday]
hey everyone!

Yes, I am indeed updating. Your eyes do not fail you.


Things have been going pretty good lately. I'm with Lauren now, and couldn't be happier.
I've brought my grade up in AP Lang. about ten points, which is good. I'm trying to eat healthier and be nicer to everyone and put myself last and others first. This isn't easy of course, but I'm trying. I seriously care about my friends and love them so much, and sometimes I think that I don't show that enough.

Last night, I went to the show up at the Loaf. It was alright, I guess. The music was pretty typical, but I had a good time. I guess I'm just kind of getting tired of the "scene". I mean, I love going to shows and seeing my friends and everything, and if it's like an xEffortx, or Above the Influence show and stuff like that, it's really fun. But it's when I go to cliche 'screamo' shows where all the bands sound the same and some kids there see it as a fashion show or something like that, I guess it kind of sucks. Like, seeing 14 year olds stand outside the venue trying to smoke a cigarette and talk about the new From First to Last video they saw on Fuse is getting kind of old, to me at least.

Grace's halloween party is tonight, which should be a lot of fun. Hopefully, Lauren will be abel to come over to my house for a little while before it starts, but I'm not completely sure. I'm trying to make a Halloween themed cd for the party, but all it really is is a bunch of Misfits songs, Time Warp, some Cure, Bauhaus, and other stuff like that. I suck at making cds.


Oh, speaking of the Misfits, check out this Halloween card I made:



I guess that's all for now. Peace out, kids.
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[Friday]
I'm lame. Proof?

A to Z about ME!


A - Age: 18
A - Available: yes

B - Beer: no thank you
B - Birthday: june 17

C - Car: some green jeep type of thing..
C - Chocolate: sure

D - Day or night: night
D - Dog or cat?: either

E - Easiest person to talk to: depends with different things.
E - Email: xonelastgoodbye@yahoo.com

F - Favorite month: october or december
F - Favorite color: brown

G - Gummy Bears or worms: neither
G - Giver or taker: i try my best to be a giver

H - Hair Color: blonde/brown
H - Height: 5'6

I - Ice Cream: only soy.
I - Instrument: nah


J - Job: blahhhh carmike
J -Jail: no

K - Kid(s): yes please
K - Kindergarten: it was cool

L - Longest Car Ride: i dont know.
L - Longest relationship: 1 year

M - Most comfortable spot: i guess my bed.
M - Movie Last Watched: 24 hour party people

N - Number of Siblings: 1
N - Number of Tattoos: none yet. but i want some.

O - One fear: being alone.
O - One regret: not talking to all the people i want to.

P - Pet Peeves: people who are rude to me, or make fun of my morals.
P - Part of your Personality you like best: nice-ness, i guess.

R- Reason to make you smile?: when people say really nice compliments to me.
R- Reality Show: south park.

S - Song Last Heard: where is my mind, by the pixies.

T - Time you woke: 5:33 am
T - Time Now: 4:40 pm

U - Unpredictable: you decide.
U - Underwear: blue and white.

V - Vegetable you love: all of them.
V - Vacation spot: anywhere but the beach

W- Worst Habit?: worrying.
W- Weather right now?: cold.

X - X-ray: a while back...freshmen year, i think.
X - X-tra special someone: lauren.

Y - Year you were born: 1988
Y - Year it is now: 2006

Z - Zoo Animal: zoos make me kind of sad, to be honest.
Z - Zodiac: i always forget this.
CMNT l MEMORIES l EDIT

[Tuesday]
Hey.

So I don't have too much to say, as usual. I had a pretty decent weekend. Friday, I worked. But on Saturday, I saw a movie with Kelsey. Then, after that, I went to Borders and saw Michael Risko, who I havn't seen in forever.

Then I went to the mall and hung out with Chelsea and some of her friends. That was pretty cool.



Sunday morning, I went to church.
Then that night, I went to the CCC show, which was really awesome. Our Corpse Destroyed and xLooking Fowardx were both really awesome. And of course the regular local hardcore was great, too.


Schools going ok this week, I guess. I'm just really bored with everything there, aside from my friends.

Hopefully I'll have something more intresting to say with the next update.
CMNT l MEMORIES l EDIT

[Tuesday]
[ mood | content ]

Well, today was a good day.

School went by reltively fast, which was a lot better than yesterday when all that really happened was I went from class to class like a zombie because I was so redicously tired. We had some test over Anglo-Saxon literature in English and I had to force myself not to fall asleep and finish it. It was pretty redicoulous.

But I'm much better today. After school, me and Chey went to Taco Bell to eat. We took some pictures on our phones, drank hot sauce, told dumb jokes, and other fun stuff. Then, we went around to several thrift stores to find our costumes for Juvie, which is coming up soon. I'm really excited about that. I think we have a great cast, and the production should be pretty awesome.

Homecoming is this Saturday, and I'm happy to say I'm not going. Instead, I'll be hanging out with the lovely Chelsea Hinkel and having a good time. I hope I don't mess anything up. I havn't been on a date in so long, so I hope I'll know how to function properly and not be stupid. Haha. Speaking of this, I found a really awesome present for her today. I hope she likes it when I give it to her.

I have way too much homework tonight. I have to finish this project for economics, do some math, and also do a French assignment. I hate school so much. Ughhh.

So, have any of you heard about that stupid Animal Enterprise bill that got passed? It doesn't violate the first ammendment at all...sike. It's so rediculous. Go check it out. Basically, it's saying that no one can participate in any animal rights activism outside of their own state, and no one can write letters to companies which do things involving animal cruelty outside of their state. It's ludicrous. I'm happy our government is so awesome...


I really need to buy tickets for the Casualties soon. I can't wait.

CMNT l MEMORIES l EDIT

[Thursday]
check this community out!
clean_punks
CMNT l MEMORIES l EDIT

[Sunday]
[ mood | good ]

Hey everyone, hows it going?
I'm pretty awesome. Things have been really good lately.

Yesterday was one of the best days ever.

I worked from 2-6, which sucked, but I only had like ten customers, maybe. So, i made about 20 dollars so that's cool. I seriously need to find a new job soon though.

Then, I came home and changed, and went to the Treehouse show. That was so much fun. I loved how it was so diversified. The bands that played were xThe Effortx, Me and Him Call it Us, O'Brother, Joshuas Ghost, and Any Given Moment. Every band was different, so you had everything from indie, experimental, oldschool hardcore, and all that. It was so much fun, and I saw so many of my friends there. It was great.

Then, Froggy and John spent the night at my house and were up until like, four just hanging out, eating fake meat, and dancing to OUTBREAK in my room. It was so much fun.

And then today, we all went to church and ate at Poblanos for lunch, which has the best bean burritos, like, ever. Stop reading my livejournal and go eat some right now.

So, as you may remember, I posted a "To Do List" a few entrys back. Well, here's an update on how things are going (all in order):
-Still havnt baught tickets to the Casualties yet, sadly.
-I got things worked out with Pet Co. and the Society of Humane Friends helped so much and a couple of girls from my club went and helped with the dogs.
-I've been taking pictures here and there, practicing for French Club somewhat.
-I've picked up applications for Payless Shoes, Barnes and Nobel, and plan on calling Meyers Group today or tomorow sometime, and also possibly applying at the Hot Topic in Gwinnett Mall.
-I'm working my best to get better at my work ethic. I try to have my homework done as fast and correct as possible, and try my hardest to apply myself at my school work. I'm still not there though.
-My dad got me signed up for the next SAT.
-Still no progress with my liscense...but I promise I'm working on it!
-Froggy fixed my back breaks on my bike last night.
-John found a place that he's thinking about working up to buying and making in a soup kitchen for Food Not Bombs and a venue.
-I'm trying my hardest to stay away from sodas, but it's not easy at all.
-I'm having a daily quiet time, and avoiding sin and temptation as much as possible, and I try hard to be positive and nice to everyone I come into contact with. Please continue praying for me though.
-Uhm, yeah...still eating too much Taco Bell.
-The appeal letter is written, just not sent yet.


So, over all, I'd say I'm doing pretty decent, eh?


Well, I don't have much to say, so I'll leave you with www.veganoutreach.org and some awesome lyrics.

Animal lovers, vandals, hooligans, cranks; recognise the labels?
They say we don't care about human beings.
We say all sentient beings, animal or human
have the right to live, free from pain, torture and suffering.
They say because we are human and speak the same, we matter more.
Is our pain and suffering any greater or lesser than that of animals?
Human v. animal rights
is as much a prejudice as black v. white or the nazis versus the jews an
affront to our freedom.


Vivisection is a violation of human beings, the same as it is for animals.

We have a chemical world built on a pile of drugs to thanks for their
experiments.
Drugs are designed for profit, manufactured to suppress symptoms.
Human freedom, animal rights.
It's one struggle, one fight.

When animal abuse is stopped then human abuse will soon stop also,an attitude of mind.
"An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind".

Start by protecting the weak, the defenceless,animals,the sick,the disabled.
Compassion and emotion are our most important safety values.

If we lose them,then 'we lose' the vitality of life itself.

Emotional?
Hooligans?
Cranks?
--Conflict

CMNT l MEMORIES l EDIT

[Wednesday]
[ mood | giddy ]

Hey

So, I've recently found out that not only will The Breifs and Casualties be coming in October, but on November 16, Leftover Crack is playing at the Masquerade!
I'm so excited.

School's been alright this week, but I have a math quiz tomorow. I really hate math.


I went to the fair last night, and that was awesome.

I want to do something with my hair. I don't know what though. Ideas?


Life is pretty good right now.

CMNT l MEMORIES l EDIT

[Friday]
School is pretty lame, as usual.

I'm going to Chelsea's birthday party tonight, if I can secure a ride, which should be fun. Attila and a few other bands are playing, so I really hope I can go.


Girls are confusing.
CMNT l MEMORIES l EDIT

[Saturday]
[ mood | exhausted ]

Hey


Today was a great day.
I woke up around 9:15 and then went back to bed until around 10:30, or so.

Then, at 11, I went to the KFC protest near Gwinnett mall. That was really cool. My friend Carolina was there, too. We held up signs and passed out literature when the cars stopped for the red light. I'd say most of the people were very receptive, and agreeded to boycott KFC.

After that, me and Caroline went to Taco Bell to get lunch, and then to Gwinnett Mall for a little while. That was awesome, also.


Then I came home and spent most of the afternoon on www.marriedtothesea.com which is the funniest site I've seen in a long time.

At 7, I went to a local hardcore show (xthe effortx, of legendm protest, infection! etc) and it was so much fun. My arm got hit, which sucks, but it'll be ok. I thought I broke it at first, but luckily, it's not.


Well, church and work tomrow. I'm defenantly quitting my job very soon.

CMNT l MEMORIES l EDIT

[Tuesday]
[ mood | cold ]

Hmm. So, since I suck so bad at having priorities and all, I'm going to make a "to do" list. (in no particular order of importance)

--Get tickets for the Casualties for me and Chelsea!
--Call Pet Co. about helping out with them for my Animal Rights club.
--Get good at taking pictures for French Club.
--Find a much better job than the one I have now. Possibilites are: Meyers Group, Best Buy, some stores at Discover Mills.
--Get a better work ethic so I can get good grades this year in school, and get into a decent college.
--Retake the SAT.
--Get my liscense. Seriously, I need to do that. Like, soon.
--Take my bike to the bike shop to get the breaks fixed.
--Help John with organizing a Food Not Bombs chapter in Gwinnett.
--Drink more water, and cut down on soda as much as possible. Black Cherry Vanilla coke is pretty adicting...
--Get in a closer relationship with God and turn all my decisions over to Him.
--Limit myself to Taco Bell once every two weeks.
--Write my appeal letter to the retarded mall cops at Mall of Georgia.


I'm sure there's more, but that's the main things I have right now. If anyone would like to hold me to this and help me out, that'd be awesome.

CMNT l MEMORIES l EDIT

[Wednesday]
[ mood | excited ]




everyone needs to come to this!

CMNT l MEMORIES l EDIT

[Monday]
[ mood | tired ]

Ok, a lot of people ask me about this.

Straight Edge, and why it's right for me.

I'm Straight Edge for many different reasons. Mainly, because I want to keep my body clean of toxons so I can better serve my personal Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

I choose to live poison free because the cigarette and alcohol companies are some of the most disturbing things around today. They lie about health effects, target minorities and children, and flash brainwashing advertisements on television and in magazines as often as possible to make you think you need them to make yourself happy.

Cigarettes cause all kinds of health aflictions, like cancer, heart disease, and not to mention addiction. They stuff as many obscure chemicals as they can into cigarettes and no one thinks twice about what they're breathing in. It's an extremely expensive habit, and the money just goes to support a huge evil corporation and Phillip Morris. Also, and cigarette except for American Spirit's are tested on animals (www.smokinganimals.com) by cutting holes into dogs necks, putting tubes down their throats, and forcing them to breathe in whatever chemicals might be in the cigarettes. Even though we already know cigarettes kill, they still find this necessary for some bizare reason.


I'm Straight Edge because I have goals and aspirations in life I know I could not acheive if I were to submit my body to drugs and alcohol. I don't feel like I have to rot myself from the inside out to have a good time, or feel good about myself. Instead of "partying" on the weekend, I choose to go to a show, or hang out with my friends. I choose to do something real, and fun. Personally, I don't think getting wasted, sleeping with some girl I won't remember a week from now, and puking isn't fun.


For those of you who have chosen to live differently, I'm not trying to push anything on you, or tell you how to live. That's not what I'm about. I'm not here to make anyone feel guilty, or make it out like I'm better than you, because I'm not. You've made your choice, and I've made mine. I will respect you as a person and be your friend, but don't expect me to give up my morals to impress you. That's not what I'm about, either.

And for anyone who thinks Straight Edge is just the flavor of the week, a trend, a genere of music, or something kids can do so they can X up at shows, you're wrong. Sure, there will be kids like that, but for the one who really have it in their heart and see it as a commitment, it's real. It's a life style, and a movement.



"I'm a person, just like you
But I've got better things to do
Than sit around and smoke dope
Cause I know that I can cope
Laugh at the thought of eating ludes
And laugh at the thought of sniffing glue
Always gonna stay in touch
Never wanna use a crutch
I've got straight edge!"

CMNT l MEMORIES l EDIT

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